Sleep Training

I never thought a child would have to be trained to sleep.  I remember babysitting one family in particular.  I kept their child when he was almost a year old.  Putting him to sleep was easy--I gave him a bottle, laid him in his bed...and he went to sleep and never cried. 

"Lucky" was fairly easy to get to sleep until the age of 11 months.  Then, something changed.  It might have been the fact that 6 of his teeth (including four 1-year molars) came in during the month of December.  Or it could have been the illnesses.  Whatever the reason, the process of getting him to sleep took well over an hour each night.  After a day of working, driving home, and cooking, I was mentally and physically exhausted each night by the time I put him in bed. 

A handful of times, "Lucky" would wake up in the middle of the night.  This happened most when he had an ear infection.  Not often, but on occasion, I would put him in the bed with us.  I would place a boppy on the bed between us, and "Lucky" would peacefully go back to sleep.  

But those occasions were so rare.  Why, suddenly, was it nearly impossible to get him to sleep?  What were we doing wrong?  We were following the same routine that we had since he was just months old. 

After asking co-workers for advice, I decided to do some research on the internet for the best advice.  I went to one of my favorite online stores, amazon.com,  and used the "look inside the book" feature to find the books that I thought matched our parenting style.  I finally settled on two, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, and The SleepEasy Solution by Jenniver Waldburger and Jill Spivack. 

I gave one book to my husband and I took the other. Mind you, the problem wasn't sleeping through the night; once we got him to sleep, he usually slept about 10 hours.  The issue was with getting him to sleep.  We decided to read a few chapters before actually starting the process.  What we found (both books agreed on several items), is that we were putting Lucky to bed too late.  We weren't recognizing his "tired signs," and it was causing major problems.  According to The SleepEasy Solution, when your body becomes overtired, it produces a hormone called cortisol which acts as a stimlant.  Think coffee or adrenaline.  We were keeping Lucky up too late, and he was catching his second wind.  When we were ready to put him to sleep, he was wired.  No wonder it took us so long!

Finally!  We knew what we had to do.  It wasn't going to be easy, and both books agreed on that fact. The keys to it all...1) put him to sleep an hour earlier (7PM), 2) follow a strict routine before bedtime and keep that routine, 3) always put your child to bed drowsy - not completely asleep, and 4) ensure he gets 11 hours of sleep.  Honestly, I was suspicious and didn't think any of it would work.

We decided to try the recommended practices in the book and see how it went.  We had already been using a white noise machine and kept his room dark.  We gave him a bath, put on his pajamas, read a book, and gave him a bottle.  While he was not quite asleep, I laid him in his crib.  At first he didn't cry.  And, he was fine for the first check-in (sporadic check-ins make a big difference).  After the first check-in, however...he fell completely apart.  I pretended to walk out of his room, but just as I pulled the door open, I "hit the deck" and crawled back below his bed where he couldn't see me.  This time I would have to wait double the time for the second check-in.  I watched the clock and watched him as he cried standing up in the crib.  He was heartbroken...and I was too.  I really wanted to stand up and cuddle him in my arms and say to heck with the whole thing.  I wanted to rock him to sleep - not caring that it might take another hour. 

But something inside said, "wait it out." So, I listened to the little voice.  Lo and behold...before the next check-in time...he was sound asleep!  I was completely shocked.  How could this happen?

The second night, I was confident.  We started the routine at 6:30.  He got a bath, we put on his pajamas, read a book, and he drank a bottle.  Then, he did something strange.  He climbed on my shoulder and turned his head to the side.  He was putting himself to sleep!  After a few short minutes, I decided that I should put him in the crib.  He only cried for 2 minutes--if that.  And voila--he was asleep! 

The wonderful thing about this process is that twice he has been put to sleep by other family members, and it works for them too!  We can go out on dates now!  As long as the sitter knows the routine, we are golden. 

After 5 weeks, I can honestly say that things are so much better.  We have had one set-back this week.  "Lucky" has been waking at 4:58 for the last 5 days.  Thankfully, the books we have address "early wakers."  The experts say to continue your check-ins as if it were night-time.  We plan to attempt that strategy tomorrow morning, and I will let you all know how it goes.

My point is that if your child is getting enough sleep (both books agree that 11 hours is average and needed for young children), you should be getting sleep too.  It's worth giving sleep training a try if you are experiencing any issues with your little one.